How Do I Create More of This?
When I had my son in 2019, postpartum depression showed up in ways I didn’t expect.
I was constantly afraid. Afraid he would stop breathing in his sleep. Afraid something was wrong with me because I didn’t immediately feel that “my life now has meaning” moment everyone talks about.
I hated the lack of control.
I hated the fear.
And most of all, I felt deeply disconnected.
For months, I moved through survival mode — trapped in my thoughts — until one quiet moment changed everything.
While nursing my son one day, I felt a shift inside me. It was subtle but undeniable, like a light switch flipping on. In that moment, I realized something important:
When I shut off the expectations and pressure, I could hear myself again. And my inner voice was reassuring me that everything was going to be okay.
When I truly listened to my intuition, stepped out of “fear mode,” and returned to my truth, I felt a steady calm return.
I kept asking: How do I create more of this? And what is “this,” exactly?
After a lot of inner work, I realized that “this” was reconnecting with my true self. The more space I gave myself to listen within, the more clearly my truth revealed itself. So I started practicing reflection more intentionally.
If I wanted to be a more present mother or wife, I asked myself when I felt most connected to my son and husband.
If I wanted professional growth but felt unsure of the direction, I asked what brought me energy — and what drained it.
If I noticed I was reactive every evening for days in a row, I asked what I wasn’t prioritizing during the day so I wouldn’t turn into a full grump-asaurus (a very real word in our house) by bedtime.
Soon, I began to identify what I needed to shift my patterns in meaningful ways.
Not by controlling everything around me —
but by becoming aware of what was happening within me.
That’s the shift.
When you step out of the fear cycle, you can stop reacting and start listening.
You can’t control every outcome.
But you can control your attention.
Your reflection.
Your next move.
Without awareness, we stay blocked.
With awareness — even when everything feels out of control — we gain something powerful:
Choice.
And that’s where the real question lives.
Not, “How do I stop feeling this way?”
Not, “How do I fix everything?”
But —
How do I create more of this?
More connection.
More moments where you hear yourself clearly.
The answer isn’t found in pressure.
It’s found in the quiet space you choose to create.
Space to pause.
Space to reflect.
Space to listen to what’s already there.
Because when you ask, “How do I create more of this?”
you shift from surviving your life…to choosing your next step with intention.
